“You look like a skeleton!”
“Phook maro toh udd jayegi”
“You have no substance. What guy would go out with you?”
“See this pencil? This is you Janvi.”
These are few of the many mean comments that I endured almost all my life, especially in past 8 years. And they didn’t come from strangers, in fact, from the people I cared the most. And maybe people didn’t realize I lived every waking hour of the day with myself, I knew my body type and I didn’t need others to highlight and spell out the negatives every time they saw me. I faced body shaming and may be even you did at some point in your life. Read on to discover what I did to change my body.
Initially it didn’t bother me. Then I started feeling awkward and soon it was replaced by anger. I used to back answer and curse the moment anyone commented about my body. I was in denial and later depressed. This was my emotional condition. Physically I used to stuff myself all the time in an attempt to prove people wrong. Other times I used to give up on food and skip meals to cry in my pillow. I shrunk and lost all the flesh from my face. What people saw was my blank face that didn’t give away anything. I didn’t want to look weak and people misunderstood that for my arrogance.
There were times when I resolved to eat no matter what, whether I liked the mess food or not. Ate five meals a day when I was home. I counted every calorie intake and researched internet for ways to put on some weight. And the needle on the weighing machine refused to budge. Basically NOTHING worked for me. I was underweight, a girl of 40 kgs. Last December I was still 45 and this March I touched 51. You know what changed in past three months – I DEVELOPED AN APPETITE FOR LIFE!
Now you would be wondering what developing an appetite for life has anything to do with calories! I started travelling after I got placed in Reliance, aiming one new city every month. I started maintaining a diary to vent out all my negative feelings. And last December I started blogging. I embraced myself the way I am. I bypassed all the negative comments and gave people positive points to talk about me. And above all I wanted to look good in pictures and pretty in the cute dresses out there. I wanted people to see that I am beautiful the way I am. Eventually I started eating out of happiness. I surrounded myself with friends instead of eating alone the way I used to in college. I stopped keeping a track of my calories and worked on my hobbies and that made me hungry.
I start my day with milk and fruits now. Then eat a chunky cheese brown bread sandwich. And eat every meal after that with my loved ones. Moreover, I started cooking my own food. It could be that milk products and carbs are major part of my diet but I believe it’s the fact that I am genuinely happy that made the difference.
So if you are facing body shaming here’s what you should do:
- Tell the person who teases you (in a very serious tone) – “I will prove you wrong one day”. Remember that the people who criticize you are far from perfect.
- Work on your hobby or anything that you love.
- Never eat alone, surround yourself with the people who genuinely care about you.
- If you are looking forward to lose weight then cut on carbs and hit the gym, and if you wish to gain some weight then include all that you like in your diet.
- Cook for yourself.
- Lastly, share your story with people and talk about how you feel.
Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep and neither should you! Hope you loved this post. If there is anything you would like to talk about you can e-mail me, DM me at @paradise_stardust or comment below.
With lots of love and affection, Janvi.